Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Remember...

In July of 2005 I was 16 weeks pregnant with our fourth child when I told my ob/gyn I had found a lump. His exact words were "if it's cancer it'll be too late, by the size alone it will have spread everywhere...but I'm sure it's not cancer" one week later I got the call... I'm sorry but you have breast cancer. It's one of those moments you'll never forget. I know exactly what I was doing and where I was when I received that call. Life changed in the span of a 2 minute phone call. I was no longer an average pregnant woman, I was at war. A war that I had to win.

Cancer changes everything. It makes you stop and really look around you. Life will never be the same. It is an ugly battle to fight. People see you differently and many will walk away, being there for you is a risk that some aren't willing to take. Cancer is an evil mountain to eats away at you even when the disease has been defeated. It leaves fear in it's place. You will always wonder how long till the next battle. Waiting on the other shoe to drop.

Within the last year two very prominent young women in our local community have lost their fight, each time I felt the cold breath of the disease on my neck. It makes me stop and look around wondering when it will come for me.

I weep for those who have lost the battle. The families they leave behind. There was never a fear of cancer for me but for my family... I never wanted to hurt them and the thought of leaving them is just unbearable. I weep for their families and the victor who had no choice in leaving.

Please take all lumps you find very seriously no matter your age. No matter if you have no family history of the disease. Even if you think it could never happen to you. Cancer doesn't play favorites...

1 comment:

Jenny @ The Zepf Life said...

What a wonderful post, really makes you stop and think. I know of many people, both family and friends that have fought cancer. Some have won and some have not. But I cannot even fathom hearing those words, that you have cancer.

You are very inspiring. I found your blog a couple of weeks ago and love it.